In December 2019, I was part of UQ6’s Singapore mission team. It was my first mission trip ever. I remembered nearing the trip, I felt so distant from God and unprepared for what was to come. There was a sense of feeling unqualified to do His work, and my faith in God began to wane.
However, during the trip, God began to do amazing things in my heart. During one of the prayers to prepare our hearts before evangelism, I felt God’s presence so strongly for the first time in my life. It suddenly became so clear to me that God was with me all the time, working in and through me whether I felt close to Him or not. I was reminded of how great our God is: He is not a performance-driven God, but instead, he looks at our hearts more than all the things we do.
During the prayer time, I felt as if God was saying to me, ‘my good and faithful servant’. At that moment, God began to comfort me and open my heart to come before Him in brokenness and vulnerability. He began to reveal his heart for me and assured me that in my weaknesses, his power was made perfect. That encounter was the moment of awakening and revival that my soul needed, and I felt recharged and passionate to do what God had called me to.
This first-hand experience of God’s love and grace caused me to understand and trust that my identity in Christ is firmly secured. I am God’s precious child, and his love for me never changes, no matter how I feel or what I do. I only need to come as who I am and trust that God’s grace is sufficient for me, and he will strengthen me to do His work.
Reflecting back, I really want to thank God for being so faithful to meet me where I was, even when I doubted and lacked faith in him. He truly is a God who loves and cares for us deeply, even to the tiniest detail. Knowing this God, who is so faithful even in my weakness and lack, how can I not place my trust in him?
Lamentations 3:22-23, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
Teng Teng Lee